Little Boat

I'm going away on my little boat. Don't know when I'll be back or if I will ever want to actually come back. Don't worry, I know my boat looks little but it's a tough son of bitch. It can really take some hits. Don't leave the light on either, because I don't know when I'll come back. I might not want to come back. I might have a good time and meet some mermaids. You never know.

Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I'm going to be alright. You know that I always find a way to do that. Don't get no ideas about following me either, this is my journey, not yours. Don't copy me and don't hog all of my credit. You get your own journey, okay? Anyway, my boat only has room for one so don't try to hide in there while I'm getting snacks or when I am going to the bathroom. That will only make things worse.

Also, don't get too sad. I'll be okay. I can take care of myself, you know? I don't need you fussing over me. Especially now that I have this totally sweet boat. You know you wish you had one.

Poltergeist

I can't think of much to post so here are some things that I like right now:

A long whistle.

I had another awkward exchange with a driver at a crosswalk on the way to work this morning. He and I both gave each other the "go ahead" signal but both decided not to make good on our allowances. We both did our own performance art styled impressions of acting out the idea of "stationary entrapment." I felt like smoking a clove cigarette afterwards.

If there's anything in Columbus that I have yet to master, it is the act of crossing the street at a four way stop. It would be safe to say that I have these types of interactions everyday on the way to and from work.

My walk to work is fairly short, about twenty minutes. It's nice because I take a route that is mostly mild when it comes to traffic and I get the joy everyday of walking through the park which is really nice now with it's spring blossoms. My favorite part of the trip is when I walk past the elementary school mostly due to the fact that after school I usually get to see a child giving their parent(s) a hard time or misbehaving. I don't care who you are, it's always funny to see a child or a dog misbehave.

When I walked past the school today, I spotted a scooter sitting outside the door. The sight inspired me to write a poem or something (I don't know if it's technically a poem).


I am trust. I am the innocence of youth.
You may always rely on me though some may forget me.
I am here for you and if you ever leave I will always wait for your return.

Some thoughts on bugs in general...

I just killed a centipede in the hallway (which my girlfriend and I lovingly refer to as "pedes") and it made me think of some of the more awkward encounters one can have with a bug.

Here are just a few in no particular order (of course):

• When you're walking somewhere and you almost walk into a flying/hovering bee or other stinging insect. This is almost like when you're crossing the street and a car pulls up at the same time and you both give each other the "go ahead" motion with your hands and both parties are demobilized until one or the other decides to move first. I've had instances where I've stood with a bee or wasp hovering in front of my chest for up to a second or two (which is too long to spend with a bee in my opinion). I've also spent the same amount of time or more standing at a crosswalk waiting for the driver of a car to "man up."
• When you kill a bug and it disappears. This is agonizing because you are unsure of where the dead bug went or if it survived the attack and is hiding somewhere plotting it's revenge.
• When a bug is high up on the ceiling and you are trying to kill it by throwing a towel or slipper at it. The amount of time spent missing the bug can be frustrating and can lead one to believe that the bug is making fun of them. This is similar to the item above only a little worse.
• When you are viewing a bright screen in a dark room and a bug won't find another light source to mindlessly fly into. This is one of the few occasions where I will actively hunt and kill a bug.

I'm not usually bothered by a bug's presence unless these criteria are met:

• The bug is gross (see list below).
• The bug is bothering me by either continually attempting to make physical contact with me or trying to land on whatever screen I am watching in a dark room.

A list of bugs that I define as gross:

• Centipedes
• Silverfish
• Earwigs

I don't really mind cockroaches because I have never had to deal with them personally and I never bother to kill spiders. Spiders are the police of bugs and I usually let them do whatever the fuck they want.